Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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