So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
