I didn't shave. On purpose
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
These tits shall not be calmed
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
