Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
