these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
