Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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