having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
