I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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