White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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