So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he thought i was a dude.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
