I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
