Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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