i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
