are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
