I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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