Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
