i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
