And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
