Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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