I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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