I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
