How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
