Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
