i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
