Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
