I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
