I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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