If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
