fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
