i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
