Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
