how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
