We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
