i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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