girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
