Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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