there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
