a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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