The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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