I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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