All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
