Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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