the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
