trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
