I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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