I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
