Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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