i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
