I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That accounts for only three of the penises
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
