Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
