She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
