..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
