if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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