Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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