I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The beer is more important than you right now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
