You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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